Bounce off me and stick on you

Hey Folks,

For some time I’ve observed that the members of our society, taken as a whole, have matured to the level of what used to be called “Junior High” (for those of you too young to recognize that term, it’s “Middle School” with an extra year of hormones).

I say this because both groups rarely rise above the level of a pimple-ravaged thirteen-year-old. One lacks experience; the other never benefits from it. Both value appearance over substance. Both are easily confused, easily led, easily duped, easily frightened, and easily silenced. Neither do their homework. Nor do they study or even pay attention. There is always something “more important” to do – often involving sports.

Both insist on the imposition of an arbitrary, but iron-clad pecking order which, for the most part, is defended by all – including those of the lowest caste. Both believe all their problems are caused by someone else. Both scapegoat the individuals and groups least able to defend themselves. Both see crime and punishment existing on a sliding scale relative to one’s position in the pecking order.

Both are obsessed with sex; both believe it is dirty; both like it better that way; both claim they don’t.

Both attend church. Neither has ANY idea what their particular religion stands for or what makes it different from, say, Rastafarianism. Both think “morality” refers solely to sex. Both dream of endless sex; both defend chastity; both masturbate; both claim they don’t.

Neither can satisfactorily paraphrase the “Pledge of Allegiance,” but both think it’s important. Neither can recite the Ten Commandments, but both think they were personally written by God. Both value the Constitution, but don't know much about it. Both value voting; but the one is prohibited from it, and a majority of the other seldom exercises the option.

Both are self-centered and decide things on that basis; both, however, can endlessly recite altruistic, humanitarian justifications of their behavior. Both want helpful services to be provided; neither wants to help pay for it. Name-calling, bullying, ostracizing, and persecution are what others do to them – not what they do to others.

Both swagger arrogantly sometimes but are actually scared shitless all the time. Neither group has any faith in its ability to grip matters of import, but look instead to "grown ups," heroes, saviors, knights, or politicians to “save” them.

The validity of this description is easily tested (assuming you went through the eighth grade). The next time something puzzles you (e.g. the nature of thirty second campaign commercials), run it through the “Junior High” analysis.

You’ll be amazed.

- Uke Man