Revolution!!!

Hey Folks,

It’s “the 4th of July”!!!

Or is it “Independence Day”???

Or is it a commemoration of “The War for Independence”???

Or is it a commemoration of “The Revolutionary War”???

Or are we not supposed to say, “revolution”???


I’m often accused of “not liking America” (my friends know better that to say, “Whaah d’ya haiite aMerrrka?”).

Well, ah don’t haiite aMerrrka! But I confess that I don’t like it much – what it is, that is. Ah luv aMerrrka – as it’s sposed to be. It just hain’t what it says it is; an’ ah don’ like thet!!!

Now, you see, I’m not picking on America. It DOES suck when it comes to living up to what it claims it is, but every other fucking country in the world today is guilty of the same hypocrisy. The reason I concentrate on aMerrrka is that aMerrrka is the “only remaining super power” (as Condie, Rummy, Dickie, Dubya, & the Neo-Coneheads have pointed out over and over again [with intense pride and secret longing] ).

As such (as my old pal Harold used to say), aMerrrka is in a position to do the most damage and – hence – deserves the greatest surveillance. That’s not haiite; that’s prudence.

In that vein, I ask, “Why not celebrate the “American Revolution” on the 4th of July? Why “Happy Independence Day” instead of “Long live the Revolution”?

Think about it.

Clearly, the revolution is officially over; we stopped that evil King George and that was all we needed to worry about; we have our very own American-King-George now!! Just think: “INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!” Yep! At last the landed aristocracy of the colonies was free of the king, and free to pocket the entirety of what they gathered from the labor of slaves and un-propertied whites – no more sharing it with British bluebloods – Colonial bluebloods could keep it all!!!

I guess that helps explain why it’s “Independence Day.” It’s not much of a revolution when one small parasitical group is replaced by a different minority of blood-suckers. But if that’s the case, why do we CELEBRATE the 4th? (“Ohhh, it’s sooooooo good to be screwed by independent American lords instead of those British fiends!!”)

There I go again, haiiten aMerrrka!!

“Golly! Our brave soldiers died in the War of Independence so we could be free and vote!! Damn you, Uke Man!!!”

Sorry, don’t think so.

Not one soldier who fought or died before 1920 can be said to have protected the right of all Americans to vote.

Here is a listing of America’s involvement in wars (colonial & national):



American History Timeline
American Involvement in Wars from Colonial Times to the Present

July 4, 1675 -August 12, 1676
King Philip's War
New England Colonies vs. Wampanoag, Narragansett, and Nipmuck Indians

1689-1697
King William's War
The English Colonies vs. France

1702-1713
Queen Anne's War
The English Colonies vs. France

1744-1748
King George's War
The French Colonies vs. Great Britain

1756-1763
French and Indian War (Seven Years War)
The French Colonies vs. Great Britain

1759-1761
Cherokee War
English Colonists vs. Cherokee Indians

1775-1783
American Revolution
English Colonists vs. Great Britain

1798-1800
Franco-American Naval War
United States vs. France

1801-1805; 1815
Barbary Wars
United States vs. Morocco, Algiers, Tunis, and Tripoli

1812-1815
War of 1812
United States vs. Great Britain

1813-1814
Creek War
United States vs. Creek Indians

1836
War of Texas Independence
Texas vs. Mexico

1846-1848
Mexican War
United States vs. Mexico

1861-1865
Civil War
Union vs. Confederacy

1898
Spanish-American War
United States vs. Spain

1914-1918
World War I
Triple Alliance: Germany, Italy, and Austria-Hungary vs. Triple Entente: Britain, France, and Russia. The United States joined on the side of the Triple Entente in 1917.

1939-1945
World War II
Axis Powers: Germany, Italy, Japan vs. Major Allied Powers: United States, Great Britain, France, and Russia

1950-1953
Korean War
United States (as part of the United Nations) and South Korea vs. North Korea and Communist China

1960-1975
Vietnam War
United States and South Vietnam vs. North Vietnam

1961
Bay of Pigs Invasion
United States vs. Cuba

1983
Grenada
United States Intervention

1989
US Invasion of Panama
United States vs. Panama

1990-1991
Persian Gulf War
United States and Coalition Forces vs. Iraq

1995-1996
Intervention in Bosnia and Herzegovina
United States as part of NATO acted peacekeepers in former Yugoslavia

2003
Invasion of Iraq
United States and Coalition Forces vs. Iraq


Now Folks!! You may have forgotten, but almost none of the poor pukes who fought (or died) for "independence" ever got to vote. Remember!!! Only LANDED rich folks got to vote!! Not one of those poor souls who walked barefoot in the snow at Gettysburg with the sainted Washington ever was allowed to vote - and none of their kin were either!!

Of course, after the "War for Independence," slaves WEREN'T made "independent" - and they didn't get to vote either - just like the "Indians" - as they were called back then.

Even rich WHITE women couldn't vote - nobody died so that Martha Washington could vote.

In fact, even after the Civil War (called the "War of Northern Aggression" by many Southerners [for obvious reasons] ), when Blacks supposedly could vote, poor Martha and every other woman - black or white - weren't able to vote - no matter how many young underprivileged American kids had died in one of our glorious wars!

If Martha had lived to be 189 years old, THEN she could have voted - but NOT because of anything any soldier ever did - including her husband. If anything, over many years, soldiers and police participated in the persecution of women who were seeking the vote.

As for "freeing the slaves," you can believe that that is what the Civil War was about if you want to, but it's been established in the "reality based community" that slavery - at best - was a side issue. The war WASN'T fought to free the slaves. And to the extent that slaves DID find some freedom after the war, it was short-lived - replaced by "Jim Crow." As for Blacks voting, have you ever heard of a "poll tax," a "literacy test," or "lynching"?

Even if you pretend that Blacks COULD vote, Black women couldn't until 1920.

So, in which of our glorious wars did our brave soldiers die in order that we could vote? Here are the wars we waged after 1920 - take your choice:


1939-1945 World War II, 1950-1953 Korean War, 1960-1975 Vietnam War, 1961 Bay of Pigs Invasion, 1983 Grenada, 1989 US Invasion of Panama, 1990-1991Persian Gulf War, 1995-1996 Intervention in Bosnia and Herzegovina, 2003 Invasion of Iraq.

How many of those do you think threatened our right to vote or our freedoms? How many of those wars' "evil-doers" were bent on tapping our phones? Attacking our free press? Urging our troops to break the Geneva Accords? Demanding that their Church and our State be combined? Bullying those who question our government's policy? Anxious to persecute American gays?

Korea? Viet Nam? Cuba? Grenada? Panama? Iraq I ? Bosnia? Herzegovina? Iraq II ?

It seems to me that our own government is a much bigger threat to our voting (see Florida 2000, Ohio 2004) and to our freedoms under the constitution. If that is the case, our soldiers are fighting and dying to justfy the LOSS of our freedoms and the right to vote, George Bush's War of Dependence, so to speak.

I'd rather have a second Revolution.

- Uke Man