I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag and to the Corporations for which it Stands!

Hey Folks,

Having taught school most of my life, I have heard several thousand times that “schools should be run like a business.” I’m sure you’ve heard similar drivel: government should be run like a business; the Post Office; hospitals; families; etc. EVERYTHING should be run like a business!

Well, fuck that!!

We presently are suffering under the first MBA President this country ever had (not that they all haven't sucked up to business); and all his crony corporate friends are sleeping in the Lincoln Bedroom – some with Jeff Gannon (Log Cabin Republicans). It’s crap, plain and simple; and that shouldn’t be a surprise.

When the term “businessman” is crammed down our throats, it doesn’t refer to Johnny Jones, owner of the local pizza parlor. It refers to Richie Rich who inherited his status (see the Waltons – and I don’t mean John-boy).

As long ago as I can remember, ignorant clods who inherited big bucks have been running around the country lecturing on topics they know nothing about (e.g. education) and have been heavily covered by the news media BECAUSE they are rich - as if their money makes them smarter than people who actually have some direct experience in the field and actually know something about it.

But they’re BUSINESSMEN, for Chrissake!! They know how to "RUN A BUSINESS," and EVERYTHING should be run like a business.

But has anyone with a modicum of intelligence ever asked, “How DO they run these fucking businesses?” and “Is that REALLY how we want to run things – including businesses???”?

Let’s look at that.

Businesses are designed to make as much money as possible for the people who own them (family dynasties or stock holders). That’s it.

If a business could force people to work for nothing until they died, producing a totally worthless and inexpensive product that people were forced to purchase at a cost so high that their children starved; that business would be approaching perfection – at least as far as the rules for running a business are concerned.

Businesses are not in business to provide valuable goods and services – only goods and services that will sell. They are not in business to provide workers a living wage, but to maximize profits. They are not in business to make a better country (they won't say the "Pledge of Alliegance" at stock-holders' meetings) or to make a better world; the world doesn't "own" the company.

Ever wonder why so much money is spent on advertising? Everything doesn’t depend on a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens! It’s all advertising, smoke and mirrors, wizards pulling levers behind the curtain!

Budweiser (excuse me, “Bud”) is America’s beer because it is the King of Advertising (taste it!!). We have special tape to pull putrid strands of pimple secretions from the tiny pores in our noses because of an invented need to do so – established by advertising. Political donations by fat-cat reactionary greed-heads are overwhelmingly important because they can individually donate soooo much and because – as has been repeatedly demonstrated – the candidate with the most money for advertising overwhelmingly wins – regardless of his or her actual character and agenda.

That’s how you run a business.

Advertising creates the “need.” It points out the "miraculous" product that “fulfills” that “need.” It determines which of the available products aimed at the “need” is favored by the gods. And it congratulates us for our superior, enlightened, beautifying, status-improving “wisdom” in choosing Acme booger retardant over the “lesser” booger-anhialating products.

It’s all humbug – as the original "Wizard" admits near the end of the movie. But that’s how you run a business.

Have you noticed that every time Dubya talks in front of a camera there’s this blue screen behind him with obvious, but in a way “subliminimal,” messages like: "Think this!!" “This guy is really good,” “Do what this guy says,” “This guy will make you safe,” “This guy's the decider; kiss his ass!”?

There you have it: what YOU are supposed to conclude from whatever gibberish the Gipper’s would-be son - who can’t speak, but rambles on as if he were opening for Jeff Foxworthy and the Cable Guy - is blathering on about. Never mind what he actually says!! It doesn't matter - just read the ads!! Madison Avenue!!!

Yes, sir!! We finally have a country run like a business. The CEO’s are making out “big time.” The workers are getting shit on. The people’s 1 lb. can of coffee now has 11.5 ounces. The economy is fantastic. Things are great in Iraq. Taxes have been cut for those who need it most ( and it will trickle down on the rest of us as soon as the wealthy can unzip!!).

Business uber alles (Unless you hate America)!!

To serve business and fill the already bulging pockets of his oligarchical pals, the president has committed us to a war of choice of - he insists - generational duration. He has repudiated long-standing treaties, such as the Geneva Conventions. He has ignored and circumvented the separation of governmental branches and the system of checks and balances; giving his finger to both the Congress and the Supreme Court.

Like a CEO with the Board of Directors’ balls in his threatening hands, Bush does whatever he wants – fuck the law; fuck the constitution; fuck the people. The corporation has responsibility only to the folks who own it, and Bush is on record and on board for an "Ownership Society." Tough shit for everyone else!

As for the rest of us (everyone else), we’re supposed to concentrate on gay marriage, flag-burning, abortion, the war on Christmas, the Ten Commandments! That should be sufficient, don't you think?

And if you should start to doubt, just remember this: buy Bushie widgets!!! Buy early and often!! Dubya knows business, and what’s good for Bushie is good for America! The business of America is Bushie! Don’t cut and run; Halliburton is counting on you (isn’t that right, girls!).

Government should be run like a business; and it is, thanks to Dubya!! God told him to do it, he's doing it, and THAT makes you safer!!

Just remember: Buy, buy, buy!!!

You’ll be glad you did!!!

(It says so, over and over again, running diagonally on this blue background right behind me.)


- Uke Man