Reality Left Behind
Hey Folks,
Before some of you were born, there was a largely-held belief circulating that “Paul is dead!” – Paul McCartney of the Beatles.
There was plenty of “evidence” that "proved" it, such as : Paul’s bare feet and closed eyes on the Abbey Road album cover - representing a corpse (supposedly “an Irish practice” of burying folks without shoes and socks), and Revolution #9’s “number nine, number nine,” when played backward says, “turn me on, dead man, turn me on dead man” (see
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/3674/pid.html for the whole story).
I didn’t buy it, and as far as I can tell, Paul still isn’t dead.
Last night I watched a DVD, “Left Behind II, Tribulation Force” (the sequel to - can you guess - “Left Behind”). I didn’t believe IT either. In fact, the “Paul is dead” theory made a lot more “sense” than this.
Desmond Ryan of the Philadelphia Inquirer said of “Left Behind,” that it was “Piously acted, stiffly directed, and infused with a view of world politics that might charitably be described as delusional.”
Here is what Scott Weinberg of DVD Talk http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=19339
had to say about both movies:
Left Behind (2000) -- Movie #1 focuses on the early section of the Book of Revelation, the one that says half the world's population will instantaneously ascend into the heavens, leaving those "left behind" to deal with the mysteries of God's will and the arrival of a particularly hard-working anti-Christ.
Sounds like the plot of a potentially compelling fantasy flick, right? Wrong. Because none of the Bible authors were wise enough to comment about things like half-decent production values, intelligent screenwriting, or talented actors, the true believers are now stuck with a flagship flick that looks amazingly chintzy, sounds like it was written by a 9-year-old Sunday schooler, and is littered with some of the most hilariously inert acting performances of the new millennium.
Not so much a cautionary tale for the uninitiated as it is a corny tongue-bath for those who are already flock-members, Left Behind doesn't work as drama, science-fiction, or theology. It's a flick that's content to ponderously preach at its own congregation, secure in the knowledge that "the message" is what will allow its intended audience to overlook the myriad flaws in pacing, production value, dialogue, and simple common sense.
As a movie, Left Behind is an abject failure, and as religious propaganda it's even worse. Were I a staunch believer in the Evangelical teachings, I'd absolutely cringe at the way my beliefs were carried across in this laughable film. But I suppose you have to take the bad with the good when you truly believe you're one of God's "chosen angels." These folks get eternity in heaven, while I'm stuck here watching the Left Behind trilogy. The one that stars Kirk Cameron. I'm calling my rabbi.
Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force (2002) poses the question: What happens after half the world's people vanish in a cloud of God's love, leaving behind the confused and bereaved to deal with the anti-Christ's nefarious plans to mess with Israel, the United Nations, and the world's monetary structure? And the answer is this:
More Kirk Cameron.
Tribulation Force plays out like some sort of Evangelical "What if we were right??" party game. Our world is about to be taken over by the devilish diplomacy of Nicolae Carpathia, a man seen as a savior by millions ... but he's really the devil says the Tribulation Force! Composed of a whiny news reporter, a blockheaded Air Force pilot, a forever sermonizing preacher man, and a few hundred extras, the Tribulation Force is committed to spreading the word about Carpathia. And that word is this: Only those who accept Jesus Christ will escape this Earth-bound hell-hole. All others will be left to rot. How nice.
The meandering plot is interrupted every few minutes so that lead actors Kirk Cameron and Brad Johnson can convert a non-believer, preach about the short-sightedness of non-Christians, or get all moon-eyed when discussing Jesus this and Jesus that. Again, I mean no disrespect to the religious folks, but heck, movies like these just make Christianity seem more weird.
Anyway, the reporter heads to Israel to look into some trouble at the Wailing Wall while the pilot gets a gig jetting the anti-Christ across the globe. Both are acting as Jesus' undercover operatives, searching for clues to the Devil's unpleasant plan while converting a few souls along the way. Not a whole lot of anything actually happens in LB2: T-Force, because every time we think the plot is about to advance somewhere interesting, we take a chat-laden detour into Preachville. All we need to know is that the true believers are on the case against the Auntie Christ, and their mission can only be completed by converting a rabbi into a devout Christian on worldwide television ... or something.
***
So, what’s the point, Uke Man?
Well. The “Paul is dead” hoax may have been believed by millions, but no one believed it for long, and everyone knows better now.
This religious mumbo-jumbo, on the other hand is based on “faith” and is not subject to challenge by reality. The millions who believed Paul was dead HAD to deal with the fact of his continued corporeal presence. The millions who think these movies (and the books upon which they are based) are sensible, realistic, and in keeping with the Bible – in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary – cannot back off of their position without destroying most of their psychological foundation and, at the same time, exposing their own fears, naïveté, and ignorance.
No, instead, they will pound relentlessly on the rest of us to anoint their misguided stupidity as the vision of God. They seem to be increasingly bent on doing just that, and seem to be increasingly successful in that regard.
More on this soon.
- Uke Man
Before some of you were born, there was a largely-held belief circulating that “Paul is dead!” – Paul McCartney of the Beatles.
There was plenty of “evidence” that "proved" it, such as : Paul’s bare feet and closed eyes on the Abbey Road album cover - representing a corpse (supposedly “an Irish practice” of burying folks without shoes and socks), and Revolution #9’s “number nine, number nine,” when played backward says, “turn me on, dead man, turn me on dead man” (see
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/3674/pid.html for the whole story).
I didn’t buy it, and as far as I can tell, Paul still isn’t dead.
Last night I watched a DVD, “Left Behind II, Tribulation Force” (the sequel to - can you guess - “Left Behind”). I didn’t believe IT either. In fact, the “Paul is dead” theory made a lot more “sense” than this.
Desmond Ryan of the Philadelphia Inquirer said of “Left Behind,” that it was “Piously acted, stiffly directed, and infused with a view of world politics that might charitably be described as delusional.”
Here is what Scott Weinberg of DVD Talk http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=19339
had to say about both movies:
Left Behind (2000) -- Movie #1 focuses on the early section of the Book of Revelation, the one that says half the world's population will instantaneously ascend into the heavens, leaving those "left behind" to deal with the mysteries of God's will and the arrival of a particularly hard-working anti-Christ.
Sounds like the plot of a potentially compelling fantasy flick, right? Wrong. Because none of the Bible authors were wise enough to comment about things like half-decent production values, intelligent screenwriting, or talented actors, the true believers are now stuck with a flagship flick that looks amazingly chintzy, sounds like it was written by a 9-year-old Sunday schooler, and is littered with some of the most hilariously inert acting performances of the new millennium.
Not so much a cautionary tale for the uninitiated as it is a corny tongue-bath for those who are already flock-members, Left Behind doesn't work as drama, science-fiction, or theology. It's a flick that's content to ponderously preach at its own congregation, secure in the knowledge that "the message" is what will allow its intended audience to overlook the myriad flaws in pacing, production value, dialogue, and simple common sense.
As a movie, Left Behind is an abject failure, and as religious propaganda it's even worse. Were I a staunch believer in the Evangelical teachings, I'd absolutely cringe at the way my beliefs were carried across in this laughable film. But I suppose you have to take the bad with the good when you truly believe you're one of God's "chosen angels." These folks get eternity in heaven, while I'm stuck here watching the Left Behind trilogy. The one that stars Kirk Cameron. I'm calling my rabbi.
Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force (2002) poses the question: What happens after half the world's people vanish in a cloud of God's love, leaving behind the confused and bereaved to deal with the anti-Christ's nefarious plans to mess with Israel, the United Nations, and the world's monetary structure? And the answer is this:
More Kirk Cameron.
Tribulation Force plays out like some sort of Evangelical "What if we were right??" party game. Our world is about to be taken over by the devilish diplomacy of Nicolae Carpathia, a man seen as a savior by millions ... but he's really the devil says the Tribulation Force! Composed of a whiny news reporter, a blockheaded Air Force pilot, a forever sermonizing preacher man, and a few hundred extras, the Tribulation Force is committed to spreading the word about Carpathia. And that word is this: Only those who accept Jesus Christ will escape this Earth-bound hell-hole. All others will be left to rot. How nice.
The meandering plot is interrupted every few minutes so that lead actors Kirk Cameron and Brad Johnson can convert a non-believer, preach about the short-sightedness of non-Christians, or get all moon-eyed when discussing Jesus this and Jesus that. Again, I mean no disrespect to the religious folks, but heck, movies like these just make Christianity seem more weird.
Anyway, the reporter heads to Israel to look into some trouble at the Wailing Wall while the pilot gets a gig jetting the anti-Christ across the globe. Both are acting as Jesus' undercover operatives, searching for clues to the Devil's unpleasant plan while converting a few souls along the way. Not a whole lot of anything actually happens in LB2: T-Force, because every time we think the plot is about to advance somewhere interesting, we take a chat-laden detour into Preachville. All we need to know is that the true believers are on the case against the Auntie Christ, and their mission can only be completed by converting a rabbi into a devout Christian on worldwide television ... or something.
***
So, what’s the point, Uke Man?
Well. The “Paul is dead” hoax may have been believed by millions, but no one believed it for long, and everyone knows better now.
This religious mumbo-jumbo, on the other hand is based on “faith” and is not subject to challenge by reality. The millions who believed Paul was dead HAD to deal with the fact of his continued corporeal presence. The millions who think these movies (and the books upon which they are based) are sensible, realistic, and in keeping with the Bible – in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary – cannot back off of their position without destroying most of their psychological foundation and, at the same time, exposing their own fears, naïveté, and ignorance.
No, instead, they will pound relentlessly on the rest of us to anoint their misguided stupidity as the vision of God. They seem to be increasingly bent on doing just that, and seem to be increasingly successful in that regard.
- Uke Man
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