Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A Cold Wind of Misery Indeed

The Snow Man

One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;

And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter

Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,

Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place

For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.


******************************** Wallace Stevens

Zakaria's paving stones on the road to success in Iraq

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Reply to Fareed Zakaria (Wash.Post/Newsweek) who urges "success" in Iraq

Dear Mr. Zakaria,

You and Thomas Friedman are just soooo positive and optimistic about our little war (Friedman particularly so). If only this or that or this or that happens, SOMETHING good (you called it “success”) will come of it, yes sir!!!

Well, whatever that “success” turns out to be (if indeed it ever turns out at all) you propose that it “will allow U.S. troops to return home having achieved something [you don’t say exactly what that something might be – sorry to be repetitive].”

As it stands now, over 2,000 U.S. soldiers won’t be able to “come home” under any circumstances, and your optimism will help enlarge that number as well as that of the (is it) 17,000 American troops who have been maimed, brained, ruined, hobbled, or otherwise wounded thus far.

It must be easier for you than for me to imagine a form of “success” that would compensate for what’s already happened, not to mention the continuing carnage that you describe as “improved.”

But then, if you ACTUALLY believe, that freedom, democracy, and the future of Iraqis are of the SLIGHTEST concern to Bush & Co., I guess you can believe anything.

- Uke Man

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Reply to David Brooks

Dear Mr. Brooks,

You wrote, “. . . because many Americans in the post-Vietnam era, especially those who dominate the culture, are uncomfortable with military valor. That’s partly because some people don’t want this war to seem like a heroic enterprise.”

Well, I guess you missed the point. The Vietnam War was NOT an heroic enterprise; hence the reluctance to honor the strength and prowess of its warriors.

When a war is not honorable, as with both the Vietnam War and our present “enterprise,” honoring our “warriors” for the strength and prowess of their unwarranted “assault” would be like applauding the strong and effective performance of a wife-beater.

All the unfortunate young Americans trapped in this “enterprise” – those who are killed, those who are wounded, and those who return safely home – probably showed courage in dealing with their predicament and certainly deserve our compassion, but they are NOT heroes; they are ALL victims.

Heroism derives from courage in an honorable cause.

- Uke Man





America’s war heroes are going unsung
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
DAVID BROOKS

Capt. Christopher Ieva comes from a military family. His grandfather won a Bronze Star in World War II and his father served during Vietnam. Throughout his boyhood in Brooklyn, N.Y., and then North Jersey, Ieva wanted to be a Marine.

On May 8, Ieva found himself leading a Marine assault in western Iraq. U.S. forces were in the midst of Operation Matador, an effort to clean out the insurgent safe havens in the towns along the Iraqi-Syrian border.
Ieva and his men were to help bridge the Euphrates River and attack insurgent strongholds to the north. But as they got to the river, they began taking mortar fire from the town of Ubaydi, about three-quarters of a mile away. Ieva’s superiors decided they wouldn’t cross the river that day; they would take Ubaydi.

Ieva crawled up to a hillside and, as he told me, surveyed the town "Civil War style." Ubaydi is a densely packed grid of concrete town houses in the middle of the desert.

Ieva decided to take two armored vehicles and, as a feint, make a flamboyant charge across the desert on the southwest corner of the town. Two platoons would flank around to the left and launch the main attack. Others would go off to the right to prevent the insurgents from escaping. It was a maneuver Ieva and his men had practiced each Friday after hikes.

Ieva’s armored vehicle took off across the desert, and he saw a blaze of muzzle flashes from the walls of the town ahead. The machine gun bullets made a constant "ding-dingding" as they hit his vehicle, and the rocket-propelled grenades made loud cracking noises.

As he approached the town, Ieva was looking into the back yards of the first row of duplexes. The two platoons on the left were coming in from the side. Those men had to sprint across 75 yards of open ground under fire to get to a protected building. "Aggressiveness and speed got them into the city," Ieva says.

From there, the Marines began house-to-house fighting. They would blast holes in the walls and charge in — as Ieva joked, like Starsky and Hutch — or they would climb roof to roof, throwing explosive devices into houses before they entered. Insurgent snipers were atop one building, but a bomb, timed to go off just above, killed them.

Ieva’s men came across a stronghold, where one of his men, Lawrence R. Philippon, was killed. At another stronghold, according to a gripping piece by Ellen Knickmeyer of The Washington Post, insurgents had built a crawl space; they lay on their backs and shot upwards through the floor with armor-piercing bullets at Marines who came through. The Marines needed five assaults and 500-pound bombs from an attack plane to destroy that house.

I don’t have space to describe how Ieva and the other Marines fought on that hot spring day, but by the end, about 75 insurgents had been killed and 17 captured.

Two points are worth making. After the Marines took Ubaydi, they didn’t have the troops to hold it, and it again became a terrorist safe haven. Over the past two weeks, the Marines have been back in Ubaydi for more bloody fighting. This time they have enough trained Iraqi forces to hold the area, but why weren’t there enough troops last spring? Every time you delve into the situation in Iraq, you come away with the phrase not enough troops ringing in your head, and I hope someday we will find out how this travesty came about.

Second, why aren’t there more stories about war heroes like Christopher Ieva? The casual courage he and his men displayed is awe-inspiring, but most Americans couldn’t name a single hero from this war. That’s because despite all the amazing things people are achieving in Iraq, we don’t tell their stories back here. That’s partly because many Americans in the post-Vietnam era, especially those who dominate the culture, are uncomfortable with military valor. That’s partly because some people don’t want this war to seem like a heroic enterprise. And it’s partly because many Americans are aloof from this whole conflict, and couldn’t tell you a thing about Operations Matador and Steel Curtain and the other major offensives.

Ieva, who is now serving at Camp Lejeune and has earned his own Bronze Star, has it right: "We’re always painted as victims. But we assaulted them." This is a culture that knows how to honor the casualties and the dead, but not the strength and prowess of its warriors.

David Brooks writes for The New York Times.
dabrooks@nytimes.com

Monday, November 28, 2005

Say, "Goodnight, Gracey; but not too loud. Someone is listening!"

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Odds & Ends

1. From Yahoo news:

Randy Dotinga

MONDAY, Nov. 28 (HealthDay News) -- The next time you walk by a group of teenagers surrounded by tobacco smoke, don't assume they're puffing away on Marlboros or Virginia Slims.

A new report finds that adolescents --including girls -- are turning to cigars in increasing numbers.

Why would any teen want to take that risk? Because fashions have changed, said Cristine Delnevo, an associate professor of public health at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey and co-author of a report in the December 2005 issue of the American Journal of Public Health.

Because of celebrity-backed advertisements, "the cigar industry (has) successfully marketed their products to adult women and adolescents of both sexes," she said.

Well, I’d like to know what Sigmund Freud thinks about all this; and what it means, if anything, about the chances of Bill Clinton running for a third term.

* * * *

2. Michael Isikoff says the government has Americans under surveillance.

“Agents placed the commune under surveillance and developed a political profile of the residents, discovering the owner of the house and his father "have posted statements on websites opposing the use of fossil fuels," one doc reads. Another says the owner had ties to a local chapter of Food Not Bombs, an "anarcho-vegan food distribution group." Among activities flagged in bureau docs: the father of the owner had conducted a "one man' daily protest" outside a Toyota office, was interviewed for an article called "Dude, Where's my Electric Car!?" and posted info on a Web site announcing "Stop Norway Whaling!" Critics say such info has been increasingly collected by agents since the then Attorney General John Ashcroft relaxed FBI guidelines in 2002.

Yep, if we don’t keep an eye on “anarcho-vegan food distributors,” women are liable to start sassing their husbands, thus contributing to the growing trend toward dog and donkey marriages (with men – not with each other [i.e. dogs and donkeys don’t normally find one another attractive {it’s conservative Republican office-holders and right-wing whackos that find the sensuality of dogs and donkeys to be both attractive and threatening}]).

* * * *

3. Walter Pincus of the Washington Post said, Sunday, November 27, 2005:

Pentagon Expanding Its Domestic Surveillance Activity - Fears of Post-9/11 Terrorism Spur Proposals for New Powers

The Defense Department has expanded its programs aimed at gathering and analyzing intelligence within the United States, creating new agencies, adding personnel and seeking additional legal authority for domestic security activities in the post-9/11 world.
The moves have taken place on several fronts. The White House is considering expanding the power of a little-known Pentagon agency called the Counterintelligence Field Activity, or CIFA, which was created three years ago. The proposal, made by a presidential commission, would transform CIFA from an office that coordinates Pentagon security efforts -- including protecting military facilities from attack -- to one that also has authority to investigate crimes within the United States such as treason, foreign or terrorist sabotage or even economic espionage.
The Pentagon has pushed legislation on Capitol Hill that would create an intelligence exception to the Privacy Act, allowing the FBI and others to share information gathered about U.S. citizens with the Pentagon, CIA and other intelligence agencies, as long as the data is deemed to be related to foreign intelligence. Backers say the measure is needed to strengthen investigations into terrorism or weapons of mass destruction.

Hey!! This sounds REALLY cool!!! Yeah!! I mean, I really want to get those lying, underhanded, un-American treasonous bastards!! The only trouble is that the ones who will undoubtedly be in charge of identifying those lying, underhanded, un-American treasonous bastards and "deeming" them to be related to foreign intelligence will be the very lying, underhanded, un-American treasonous bastards we need to eliminate.

* * * *
4. Citizens for Legitimate Government on 27 November 2005 reported:

Abuse worse than under Hussein, says Iraqi leader -

Allawi in damning indictment of new regime 27 Nov 2005 Human rights abuses in Iraq are now as bad as they were under Saddam Hussein and are even in danger of eclipsing his record, according to the country's first Prime Minister after the fall of Hussein's government. 'People are doing the same as [in] Saddam's time and worse,' Ayad Allawi told The Observer. 'It is an appropriate comparison. People are remembering the days of Saddam. These were the precise reasons that we fought Saddam and now we are seeing the same things.' ...'We are hearing about secret police, secret bunkers where people are being interrogated,' Allawi added. 'A lot of Iraqis are being tortured or killed in the course of interrogations...'

Hey! If we are working to do this in the USA (see above), what do we care about Iraq? It’s “democracy” damnit! We control the elections; so, we control who gets tortured (but we Don’t torture! We just "urge" with extreme prejudice – and we KNOW who hates America [ in Iraq AND here at home!!] - yessirdedoodydoo we do!).


5. Calif. Congressman Admits Taking Bribes


By ELLIOT SPAGAT, Associated Press Writer Mon Nov 28, 4:39 PM


SAN DIEGO - Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, an eight-term congressman and hotshot Vietnam War fighter jock, pleaded guilty to graft and tearfully resigned Monday, admitting he took $2.4 million in bribes from defense contractors to steer business their way.
"The truth is I broke the law, concealed my conduct, and disgraced my office," the 63-year-old Republican said at a news conference. "I know that I will forfeit my freedom, my reputation, my worldly possessions, most importantly, the trust of my friends and family."
He could get up to 10 years in prison at sentencing Feb. 27 on federal charges of conspiracy to commit bribery and fraud, and tax evasion.
Investigators said Cunningham, a member of a House Appropriations subcommittee that controls defense dollars, secured contracts worth tens of millions of dollars for those who paid him off. Prosecutors did not identify the defense contractors.
Cunningham was charged in a case that grew out of an investigation into the sale of his home to a defense contractor at an inflated price.
The congressman had already announced in July — after the investigation became public — that he would not seek re-election next year. But until he entered his plea, he had insisted he had done nothing wrong.


This poor man. Obviously, those who have resented – all these years – Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham’s claim that his shit didn’t stink; and who have railed against his lifestyle as hedonistic, narcissistic, and venal would do ANYTHING to bring him down!

High Tragedy, a distraction from Homeland Security, and just one more indictment of our activist courts!!

* * * *

Well, I like this Odds & Ends thing!! We’ll have to have more!!

Peace!

- Uke Man






Sunday, November 27, 2005

Everyone? and All? Well, you'd think so, but I doubt it.

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Mark Twain's Yankee #5

Hey Folks,

I’ve been re-reading Mark Twain’s A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur’s Court and sharing pieces of Twain’s political commentary with you here (this is the 5th entry) .
His insights remain pertinent to this day. We haven’t changed much from Twain’s day – or from King Arthur’s, for that matter.



Chapter 13 – The Yankee’s take on the French Revolution:

Why, it was like reading about France and the French, before the ever-memorable and blessed Revolution, which swept a thousand years of such villainy away in one swift tidal wave of blood – one: a settlement of that hoary debt in the proportion of half a drop of blood for each hogshead of it that had been pressed by slow tortures out of that people in the weary stretch of ten centuries of wrong and shame and misery, the like of which was not to be mated but in hell. There were two “Reigns of Terror,” if we would but remember it and consider it: the one wrought murder in hot passion, the other in heartless cold blood; the one lasted mere months, the other had lasted a thousand years; the one inflicted death upon ten thousand persons, the other upon a hundred millions; but our shudders are all for the “horrors” of the minor Terror, the momentary Terror, so to speak; whereas, what is the horror of swift death by the axe, compared with life-long death from hunger, cold, insult, cruelty, and heart-break? What is swift death by lightning, compared with death by slow fire at the stake? A city cemetery could contain the coffins filled by that brief Terror which we have all been so diligently taught to shiver at and mourn over; but all France could hardly contain the coffins filled by that older and real Terror – that unspeakably bitter and awful Terror which none of us has been taught to see in its vastness or pity as it deserves.

The Recliner - The answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything!

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the latest Uke Man poem

Rest in Peace

My reclining chair broke his hip last week,
And being as he was old and had seen better days
That was it.
No sense in reconstructive surgery.

Tuesday he goes to the curb,
To await the undertaker,
With nothing to look forward to but
the resurrection of the upholstery.

“Remember chair that thou art dust
and to dust thou shalt return.”

It hurts, what with all those years of intimacy,
To send him away, but what could I do?

I ache, in part, I guess, because
The older I get the more I’m a lazy boy too.

Maybe when my hip breaks,
My kids can get another Daddy at the store

And, come Tuesday, take me out to the curb.

Satan or Santa? 666? or 999? Thank you for shopping at WAL-MART!

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Uke Man Musings

Hey Folks,

Some of you may wonder why I commented below on Our Lady of Perpetual Rust. Am I sacrilegious (Webster: “2. gross irreverence toward a hallowed person, place, or thing”)? Might I be anti-Catholic? Insensitive? Ethnocentric? Xenophobic? Could I lack family values? Hate America? Love Satan? Am I severely cynical?

Well, the answers are, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes!”

Mary is not crying. A STATUE is rusting. Mary is hallowed by millions of people. Concrete and re-bar are revered by thousands of architects and engineers. Even though I’ve heard some Protestants grouse that Catholics worship statues, any good Catholic knows that that is an unfounded slander – and that’s OFFICIAL! I know; the nuns taught me.

I can’t be anti-catholic. My Mom’s Catholic, and I love my Mom! And what’s to be anti-Catholic about? Most Catholic-haters are either psychos like the Koo Koo Klan or demented religious nuts who think the Pope is Satan. There are so many different religions to choose from; how does one determine it’s Catholics that need to be hated?

Either leave ‘em alone or hate ALL religions. This is America, for God’s sake!

And I’m NOT insensitive! If I were, pathetic lunacy like Our Lady of Perpetual Rust [OLoPR] wouldn’t get under my skin.. I wouldn’t be ranting on this blog. I’d be working on building a fantasy football team and dreaming of “March Madness.”

Maybe I’m just so caught up in my “western” ways that I can’t appreciate that “superstition” is a valuable aspect of other cultures – OLoPR, after all, IS doing her thing at the Vietnamese Catholic Martyrs Church. Perhaps I’m xenophobic and disrespecting some Vietnamese cultural reality. If only I were Vietnamese, I’d understand and appreciate the phenomenon.

Nope. Superstition is a HUMAN matter and is not restricted to any ethnicity or culture. One doesn’t need to be Vietnamese or Catholic or American to see Jesus in a piece of toast, Mary on a silo, Satan in the “Mr. Ed” theme, Allah’s name in a tire tread, Buddha in a twelve-year-old boy, or filth in “Louie, Louie.”* One just needs to be foolish.

As for family values, I learned values from my family; and I don’t need Silly Billy Bennett or Silly Billy O’Reilly to help straighten me out – standing on a ladder, those two morons wouldn’t come up to my Dad’s ankle.

The values I learned were those that fit pretty well with what we all were told America stood for. So, I don’t hate what America SAYS it stands for; I hate the reality that venal, self-serving monsters are making of America. And as for Satan or Santa – however you spell it – I don’t believe in either one, much less LOVE them.

But YES!! I AM cynical. Several people have defined a “cynic” as someone who sees the world as it is rather than how it’s supposed to be.

It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

- Uke Man

* Check out: http://www.xs4all.nl/~tdg/lyrics.html for the “Louie Louie” story.

Miraculous Toast

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Saturday, November 26, 2005

Our Lady of Perpetual Rust

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Why do they hate rationality?!!

By Golly!! It’s a sign!! Everyone whose head is made of concrete and re-bar had better squirt some oil in their ears because their brains are starting to rust!
p.s. If you love your mother, be careful not to step on a crack!!!! And don't forget to wear your copper bracelet and put your razor blades inside the pyramid!


SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Carrying rosary beads and cameras, the faithful have been coming in a steady stream to a church on the outskirts of Sacramento for a glimpse of what some are calling a miracle: A statue of the Virgin Mary they say has begun crying a substance that looks like blood.

It was first noticed more than a week ago, when a priest at the Vietnamese Catholic Martyrs Church spotted a stain on the statue's face and wiped it away. Before Mass on Nov. 20, people again noticed a reddish substance near the eyes of the white concrete statue outside the small church, said Ky Truong, 56, a parishioner.

Since then, Truong said he has been at the church day and night, so emotional he can't even work. He believes the tears are a sign.
"There's a big event in the future — earthquake, flood, a disease," Truong said. "We're very sad."

On Saturday, tables in front of the fenced-in statue were jammed with potted plants, bouquets of roses and candles. Some people prayed silently, while others sang hymns and hugged their children. An elderly woman in a wheelchair wept near the front of the crowd.

A red trail could be seen from the side of the statue's left eye to about halfway down the robe of concrete.

"I think that it's incredible. It's a miracle. Why is she doing it? Is it something bothering her?" asked Maria Vasquez, 35, who drove with her parents and three children from Stockton, about 50 miles south of Sacramento.

Thousands of such incidents are reported around the world each year, though many turn out to be hoaxes or natural phenomena.

The Diocese of Sacramento has so far not commented on the statue, and the two priests affiliated with the church did not return a telephone message Saturday.

The Rev. James Murphy, deacon of the diocese's mother church, the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament, said church leaders are always skeptical at first.

"For people individually seeing things through the eyes of faith, something like this can be meaningful. As for whether it is supernatural or a miracle, normally these incidences are not. Miracles are possible, of course," Murphy said. "The bishop is just waiting and seeing what happens. They will be moving very slowly."

But seeing the statue in person left no doubt for Martin Operario, 60, who drove about 100 miles from Hayward. He took photos to show to family and friends.

"I don't know how to express what I'm feeling," Operario said. "Since religion is the mother of believing, then I believe."

Nuns Anna Bui and Rosa Hoang, members of the Salesian Sisters of San Francisco, also made the trek Saturday. Whether the weeping statue is declared a miracle or not, they said, it is already doing good by awakening people to the faith and reminding them to pray.

"It's a call for us to change ourselves, to love one another," Hoang said.

Friday, November 25, 2005

The People of the World down on the Empire's Farm

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A Uke Man Rant

Down On the Farm

Chewing our cuds, rolling our eyes, lolling beneath cardboard, empty blue skies - indolent Holsteins! No shades of gray! We’re all black and white, baking cow pies all day; spewing volumes of methane - with no words to say.

And they milk us and breed us until one fine day when it’s time for the knacker to take us away, and then we are sausage and fed to their dogs, middle-class Holsteins (better off than the hogs who are slaughtered much sooner and eaten with pride by the fork-wielding Man who has Dog on his side).

Sure, they milk us and skin us and grind us up well, but forever that truth is forbidden to tell. Deny it, suppress it, hide it with stealth. Tell it to no one not even yourself.
. . . . . . . .

On rain-glazed white chickens so much can depend when the wheelbarrow red revolves once again, and hatches a prophet who demands that we speak, and sings out that courage is what we must seek! And prods us on to-it with the strength of his beak! Inherit the wind – not the earth – if you’re meek.

. . . . . . . . . .

Bovinish beatitudes, dairy farm platitudes - but Mr. Jones’ attitudes have Dog on their side.

Productivity’s up, supply and demand; “Supply more with less!” is Jones’s command. The Cow Jones Industrials and the Nazduck are grand; so shut up and kneel and give Dog a hand.

Pork bellies are up and Capital gains - while the manor-born feed on our bodies and brains. And Dog preaches on in his saccharine tones, speaking down to us from his pulpit of bones of the sweet, blessed oil that’s squeezed from our blood, as we “Moooo” our “Amen’s” and plod on through the mud.

We are the hollow cows, guts filled with straw! Cowardly lions eating collard greens - raw! Self-blinded fools marching into the maw of Dog and country and the Rule of Law. “Damn the torpedoes; full speed ahead; salute the flag or you too could be dead.” See not what they did; just hear what they said. Yeah, the blood’s on their hands, but the cost’s on our heads!

. . . . . . .

On rain-glazed white chickens so much can depend when the wheelbarrow red comes round once again, and hatches a prophet who demands that we speak, and sings out that courage is what we must seek! And prods us on to-it with the strength of his beak!

So stand up and curse and – finally – speak! Spit out your cud; awake from the dream; banish the nightmare; and stand up an scream!

Banish the nightmare.
Awake from the dream.

Music Update

Hey Folks!

We’re working on the new CD (Eldorado), but it will be a while. Don’t give up; it’s in the works.

I’ll be playing solo a few times in the near future for various benefits:

Friday, December 2Victorians Midnight Café – “Folk the War!” 6:00-midnight
(don’t know when I’m going on)

Sunday, December 4 – Little Brothers – Mary Jo Kilroy benefit 6:00-9:00
(I’m up 6:35-7:05)

Saturday, December 17 – Monkeys Retreat – “Via Colori Celebration”
(evening – time TBA)

Maybe I’ll see you there!

- Uke Man

Backstage at Little Brothers

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Uke Man @ Victorians Midnight Cafe

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Thursday, November 24, 2005

Twain: Reality v. Well-worn Ruts

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Twain/Yankee #4

Hey Folks,

I’ve been re-reading Mark Twain’s A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur’s Court and sharing pieces of Twain’s political commentary with you here (this is the 4th entry) .
His insights remain pertinent to this day. We haven’t changed much from Twain’s day – or from King Arthur’s, for that matter.



Chapter 8 the Yankee recognizes a sad verity:

Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine. I had mine, the king and his people had theirs. In both cases they flowed in ruts worn deep by time and habit, and the man who should have proposed to divert them by reason and argument would have had a long contract on his hands.

"God'll give ya the finger. Yes,sir!" - Pat Robertson

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See!!!

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Letter to the "Dispatch" on "Intelligent Design"

To the Editor,

Sometimes the proponents of “Intelligent design” are the best argument against it – as with recent letter-writer John Montgomery.

In this country one can believe in almost anything, and while that right isn’t necessarily well-protected in many “out-of-the-mainstream” areas, it certainly IS maintained when it comes to religion. I can establish “The Church of the Tooth Fairy” if I want, and all potential parishioners will be greeted with a smile.

If I’m made fun of because of my “crazy” religion, that is persecution and wrong. But if I insist on dental schools including the Tooth Fairy in its curriculum, resistance by professionals and others does not constitute persecution.

If we all truly were “intelligently designed,” we all would be able to differentiate between the “freedom of our religious belief” and the “freedom to impose our religious belief on others.” We would also be able to differentiate between “having our religious beliefs persecuted” and “having our desire to make others believe as we do thwarted.”

Some of us get it, and some of us don’t. Perhaps that indicates that some are more intelligently designed than others.

- Uke Man

Penn Jillette making sense out of all this Posted by Picasa

He hasn't been struck by lightning yet, but maybe Pat Robertson is busy in Pensylvania right now

Penn Jillette is the taller, louder half of the magic and comedy act Penn and Teller. He is a research fellow at the Cato Institute and has lectured at Oxford and MIT. Penn has co-authored three best-selling books and is executive producer of the documentary film The Aristocrats.
(the audio for this can be heard at: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5015557 )

“I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows, and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough… It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. ”


Morning Edition, November 21, 2005 ·

I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond Atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy -- you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do. You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word "elephant" includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?

So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The Atheism part is easy.

But, this "This I Believe" thing seems to demand something more personal, some leap of faith that helps one see life's big picture, some rules to live by. So, I'm saying, "This I believe: I believe there is no God."

Having taken that step, it informs every moment of my life. I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it's everything in the world and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. Just the love of my family that raised me and the family I'm raising now is enough that I don't need heaven. I won the huge genetic lottery and I get joy every day.

Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.

Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate. I don't travel in circles where people say, "I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith." That's just a long-winded religious way to say, "shut up," or another two words that the FCC likes less. But all obscenity is less insulting than, "How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do." So, believing there is no God lets me be proven wrong and that's always fun. It means I'm learning something.

Believing there is no God means the suffering I've seen in my family, and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn't caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn't bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future. No God means the possibility of less suffering in the future.

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-o and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.

Penn & Teller defying gravity and the dominant paradigm

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

"Gay marriage leads to wanting sex with cross-dressing donkeys, which may explain why I've been attracted to Joe Lieberman lately!"- Rick Santorum

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Let's Get Something Straight!

Ok, let’s get something straight.

First, we all know that Bush & Co. lied! We’ve known that for a long, long time. The neo-Coneheads wanted War with Iraq when Clinton (for god’s sake!!) was president. They worked for it then and more so when Bush was elected. They said they’d need another “Pearl Harbor” to sell their War to the American people. September 11 came along and they couldn’t stop talking about Pearl Harbor. You know all the shit they pulled: first excuse! Oh, doesn’t work – never mind. Second excuse! Oh, doesn’t work – never mind. On and on down the line until it eventually became “Saddam is a big jerk,” and they went to war (or, I should say, they sent our kids to their war).

We know all this (if we’ve been paying attention).

But!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be careful. Of late we are hearing shit that we are likely to mistake for Thanksgiving dinner if we don’t step back and consider reality.

All I’m hearing/seeing/reading in the media is focused on an irrelevant pissing contest. The R’s and D’s are “playing” us again – with their own interests in mind.

The R’s want to cover their shit by NOT addressing it at all. The only thing they want to say is that the D’s voted FOR the war based on the same “intelligence” that motivated the R’s. As if, even if that were true, it means something in regard to what the hell is happening to us and the world.

It’s comparable to saying, “Well, we fucked up, but it’s OK because the Democrats fucked up too.” Thank you so much!! That’s a big help!! That’ll make every boo-boo go away, even better than Mommy’s kisses on the sore spot!

If you’re a regular visitor here, you probably are already aware of all that, but there’s an equally important point I’d like to share in case it hasn’t been as spectacularly obvious as the Republican shit being spread from sea to shining sea. It’s the Democrat shit!

Don’t buy this bull about the D’s supporting the war based on “faulty intelligence.” What crap! I’m just a tired, retired, old public school teacher; I’m no god-damned senator. I never earned in four years what they’re paid in one year (forget their perks, retirement, travel reimbursement, side deals, kick-backs, campaign funds, etc.).

I don’t have assistants running around to help me figure things out. I don’t have access to an army of bureaucrats who can fact check data for me. I don’t have “intelligence” reports that I can choose not to read (as has been reported in regard to Democratic legislators). STILL, I knew Bush was lying (or, if not lying, that he was a fucking moron egged on by fucking morons)! I knew Bush should have continued the sanctions rather than rushing to war! I knew a multitude of reasons why we should have held off going to war when we did, and I wrote to Joe Hallett of “The Columbus Dispatch” in February before the war started, and you can read my letter, published here on August 04, 05 (reposted directly below).

So, if I knew what the fuck was going on WITHOUT SEEING ANY “INTELLIGENCE,” where were the fucking Democrats???????????? Our goddamned “leaders.” The “champions of the little guy”? The ones in SO MUCH BETTER POSITION THAN I TO SEE BUSH’S SHIT??? Where the fuck WERE they!!!!

I’ll tell you where they were: sucking their thumbs in the bathroom wondering how in the world they were going to get re-elected; wondering about what they could do and what they could say, and how they could convince us that while, like George, they wanted to take over the world and serve the moneyed class, they still loved US more than the Republicans did; and that we, as a result, should vote for them.

They went along with Bush and fed us shit to explain their complicity. Now that it’s blown up in his face, they’re parsing their positions in a new and “improved” way, claiming they were duped by Dubya’s duplicity.

No way!

Both then and now, the D’s are fully responsible for their actions. They were not duped – they MOST CERTAINLY saw what was what, just as clearly as I did. The only difference is in how they and I chose to react to the situation. They took the easy way, the politic way, the way that seemed most likely to pay off by chumming the electorate..

Now that the people have awakened to the utter bullshit represented by the Cheney/neo-Conehead/ money-grubbing/America-rules-the-world imperialism that stoked the madness, the spineless Democrats are busy seeking face-saving postures to assume.

NOW, they’re against the war (but we can’t bring the troops home too soon). NOW they supported the war ONLY because they were fed faulty “intelligence”!

No! They actually CHOSE to play along with the “faulty intelligence” for two reasons:

1. They want U.S. hegemony too; they are, like the R’s, imperialists; and want economic leverage over the rest of the world in order to increase the wealth of their masters here at home (who are the R’s masters as well)

2. A stand on principle is out of the question since “principle” is not a reality to them. Their job is NOT to serve the people (the ostensible purpose of the Democratic party), but to maintain themselves at the expense of the people (but without our being aware of that).


Now that the R’s are finally catching hell from an awakening populace, the D’s have put their foot forward claiming to be misunderstood, misrepresented, and ready - NOW – to do the right thing (which, in actuality, is “the right thing” for them but not really much different than what we have now).

Having finally seen through the smoke of one set of charlatans (the R’s), we are expected to put our faith in a second set of self-serving liars (the D’s) who will ride that horse until it eventually drops and the R’s mount up again in their turn!

Watch out! Resist! Revolt! The world can’t wait! Don’t put your faith in clods who see us as nothing more than farm animals suitable for shearing generation after generation or – should it prove necessary – as suitably fattened for slaughter and sacrifice upon the holy altar of the dollar under the sacred auspices of the infallible marketplace.

- Uke Man

I'd rather have been wrong!!

Well, folks, I wrote this letter to "The Dispatch" in February 2003 before the war - no one listened. It just goes to show you that when the Bushwha[fu]ckers say they create their own reality, they mean it. It's sad sollace for me to say "I told you so." Worse, it makes me wonder if Twain wasn't right when he described humanity as "the damned human race."

- Uke Man

Dear Mr. Hallett,

As someone who finds your columns a pleasant addition to the “Dispatch” fare, I was disappointed when you wrote in support of a war against Iraq. Certainly, if your underlying points are valid, your conclusion is valid. However, I respectfully ask that you reconsider several of the supporting assumptions.

You quote Mike DeWine as saying that if left “unrestrained” Saddam will become more dangerous. If we accept that as true, why is war necessarily the only means of restraining him? Doesn’t it sound funny to say that the world’s one super power is incapable of “restraining” the dictator of a tiny, impoverished country short of massive, “preemptive” war that will definitely kill thousands of innocent people?

We have been patrolling and bombing half the country (“no-fly zones”) for years; we have inspectors scurrying across the rest of the landscape; other creative actions certainly could be invented ­ short of all-out war ­ and Saddam would be forced to allow
them, considering his present circumstances.

Even if we shouldn’t be dissuaded, as you suggest, from attacking simply because it will kill thousands of innocent people, shouldn’t we be dissuaded from such carnage UNTIL we have exhausted other means? It is beyond doubt that we will kill thousands of
innocents by our attack; it is much less certain that if we increase efforts to restrain Saddam he “will [nevertheless] cause the deaths of many more innocent
people than will be lost in an allied invasion.”

Why not give creative assertiveness a try?

The UN estimates that 500,000 Iraqis will be killed or wounded in the FIRST week of a US attack. Saddam hasn’t been gassing Kurds or initiating expansionist adventures for a while. Why not let those 500,000 folks live in peace a while longer while we try to use our heads to find a solution that will keep both “W” and Saddam from killing thousands of innocents? Can’t we always kill them later?

Your hope that Bush is agonizing over the certain death of thousands of innocent Iraqis speaks well of your character, but do you really think there is any serious hope that Bush actually cares in more than a perfunctory way? You quite accurately describe the president’s domestic agenda; he doesn’t seem to be agonizing over whether he is damaging the poor and middle class at the expense of the wealthy. He doesn’t seem to be agonizing over the incredible new and costly burden this war will inflict on the poor and middle class (whom he already demands pay a larger share of the tax burden) ­ even in the face of the already existing near-bankruptcy of the states. He doesn’t seem to be agonizing over maintaining the Social Security safety net or expanding medical care to the uninsured or the retired. To paraphrase what we often hear about Saddam, Bush is harming his OWN people; and he’s doing it proudly.

As for giving “the Middle East a chance to taste democracy,” do you feel secure in that estimate? You cite the president’s “insidious” attack on our own Bill of Rights; why should we believe he wants democracy for foreigners when he works to restrict the democracy of his own people (see Robyn Blumner’s Feb.17 column, among others)?

More telling is that every estimate of the cost of “nation building” in post-war Iraq predicts a lengthy and incredibly expensive expenditure of someone’s funds. Without allies, with a crumbling domestic economy, and with the eventual war/deficit-elicited inflation, what will become of, primarily, the poor and, secondarily, the middle class who will have to carry the freight?

Do you actually think Bush will bite the bullet to squeeze the necessary money out of regular folks (or, heaven forbid, the wealthy) to actually bring democracy to Iraq, or will he slough off democracy for a “quick fix” that gives the US hegemony at a cut-rate price without a new, democratic Iraq? Latest news indicates that AMERICANS will be running post-war Iraq for a long time, setting up a government and constitution the US (not Iraq) deems appropriate. What are we doing in Afghanistan to rebuild the country and establish democracy?

Beyond the cost of “building” democracy, what is it about a country created artificially by outsiders to encompass a certain area and three or more completely different antagonistic groups, two of which have been zealously ruled for years by the minority group; ­ what is it about that to make hawks so optimistic about good things happening easily, quickly, and cheaply; and what makes them believe that the vast majority of those in Iraq and the rest of the Muslim world will thank us for it? Sounds like a stretch to me.

You seem to dismiss Bush’s motives as irrelevant (i.e. no matter what they are, Saddam must go). Please reconsider. If Bush’s motives are what I believe them to be, his actions could severely harm both the US and the world, and far from saving lives, could lead to the deaths of many more, if not millions.

I believe that this push for war with Iraq comes out of an ideology that existed prior to 9-11. With the collapse of the Soviet Union, the US emerged as the sole super power, the only “big boy” on the block. Bush Sr., in his one term, talked about “a New World Order,” but was short-sheeted by Clinton’s victory.

During Clinton’s eight years it became clear that hawkish conservatives believed that Clinton was not vigorously enough using our newly unique position to spread our influence and control over the rest of the world’s countries, none of which could independently resist us. People, including Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Bill Cristal, and other hawks presently in or supportive of the present administration, complained that Clinton was not being aggressive enough in imposing American control around the globe. They called for, among other things, the invasion of Iraq.

This suggestion clearly preceded and had NO connection to 9-11 or terrorism.

More recently, Condoleezza Rice stated, “ The international system has been in flux since the collapse of Soviet power. Now it is possible ­indeed probable ­ that that transition is coming to an end. If that is right, then this is a period not just of grave danger but of enormous opportunity.”

Opportunity for what? A new world order with the US calling all the shots, and with terrorism (9-11) providing the excuse and the unquestionable justification.

We have the publicly announced Bush doctrine that we will let NO country get even close to our military might, and that we take unto ourselves the right to use “preemptive” war against anyone who starts to get close and even those who MIGHT EVENTUALLY cause us problems. We reserve this right regardless of what anyone else thinks. As Rumsfeld said, “The mission determines the coalition,” and we keep hearing that they will go it alone if need be.

We have placed ourselves above international law, including such long-standing agreements as the Geneva conventions. We are ignoring and even bullying our historic allies. The “Dispatch” editorial “Pierre contraire” (Feb.16) on the page previous to your
column echoes my point. If you re-read it, I think you will agree that it essentially argues that the US is the only super power and that France’s views and interests are no longer relevant; that France should fall into line behind American interests rather than its own (which would make France irrelevant if it weren’t already irrelevant); and that France, ­ if by some weird chance it really isn’t already irrelevant, will soon be MADE irrelevant for not surrendering its sovereignty to us. Sounds a little like double talk to me.

I realize that you don’t write these editorials, but I’m not surprised that SOMEONE at the “Dispatch” thinks just like Bush about slapping down anyone resisting the establishment of broader and stronger US hegemony around the world.

Nevertheless, if I am correct about Bush’s motives, then these motives DO weigh heavily upon our consideration of a possible war. These motives are dishonorable, antagonistic, aggressive, selfish, counterproductive (for the vast majority of Americans), disruptive , dangerous, immoral, destructive, and blatantly counter to all that we who grew up patriotically understand America to represent.

We selectively use international laws and institutions when it serves our agenda and totally dismiss them when THAT serves us. For example, we claim the right to attack Iraq because Saddam has gone against UN rules, and at the same time brag that if the UN doesn’t OK our war, WE’ll disobey UN rules and have a war anyway. Everyone and everything must kowtow to the mighty superpower.

Beyond the hypocrisy, stands the danger of disaster. If one asks, “What is the most we will gain from this?” even the most optimistic answer pales in comparison to what we could lose. We WILL lose troops and capital in the war. We will vastly increase federal deficits, which will, inevitably, result in cuts to the safety net for our neediest citizens and
in reduced help for hard-pressed cities and states. We will disrupt the flow of oil, which will either negatively affect commerce by higher prices or reduce our strategic reserves, or both. We will aid in the recruitment of terrorists dedicated to raining death upon Americans. We will further restrict our own people’s access to the Bill of Rights. We will increase the unjust harassment, investigation, and arrest of innocent citizens and immigrants. We will become a nation overcome by fear and intimidation. We will likely spawn a new McCarthyism aimed at “terrorists” instead of Communists.

In more concrete terms, this untimely war could result in the overthrow by hard-line Muslim fundamentalists of one or more of our “client” states in the Middle East, and to a general hatred for the US on the part of Muslim citizens in all Arab states. It could lead to new resolve on the part of demagogic Arab leaders to use the destruction of our ally
Israel as a rallying call for their own power grab.

Most frighteningly, it could lead to a fundamentalist overthrow of the shaky Pakistani government, which ALREADY possesses nuclear weapons and the missiles to
deliver them. As a result, the nuclear capability we feared Saddam would EVENTUALLY obtain would fall IMMEDIATELY into the hands of a government that hates us.

Then there’s always North Korea sitting there threatening to ignite the holocaust, believing, as who can blame them, that Bush is willing to go to any extreme to bring everyone, Iraq, Iran, North Korea, even the American people to heel.

The possibility of a self-initiated Armageddon, more than anything else argues for lengthy further attempts at finding a solution short of preemptive war. Glib assurances from a war-minded clique that all will go smoothly, quickly, and well are not enough for me. As I said, why not wait? We can always kill Iraqi men, women, and children later if we need to.

If we go to war now and, counter to assurances, killer vultures come home to roost, it will be too late for Iraqis and too late for us.


Yours - Tom Harker 2-21-03

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Audio version of "You Can't Get There From Here" (below)

this is an audio post - click to play

"Container!!!"

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"the MEAD!!!"

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"No, you can't get there from here!"

I moved to Circleville twenty-seven years ago to teach eighth graders and soon learned that the west side of town often smelled funny. Occasionally while driving down Scioto Street, I’d get a whiff.

My students filled me in: “It’s ‘Container!!’ ” they’d say.

Of course!!

I hadn’t noticed it before, but there - on the next street over –perpetually spewing its industrial pheromones, was a paper mill !!

“How sad,” I remember thinking. Here were these delightful, century-old, Scioto Street houses masquerading as low and decrepit rentals for the nasally impaired.

Oddly, every time I shared this thought with any established resident of the town, I was assured that the children and I were wrong!

No!! It wasn’t “Container”! No.
It was “the Mead”!

Now the Mead is a much larger paper mill in a town twenty miles to the south, and it seemed to me an unlikely explanation. My uncle runs a drugstore in the shadow of “the Mead”; so, I’ve smelled it, and it DOES fit the same stink-profile. But still!! Why would industrial flatulence from such a distance smell worse than cheese cut next door?

Furthermore, why would a stink wafted to Circleville from such a great distance always land ONLY on that small section of town near our OWN paper plant?

It was all very strange, but invariably those in the know – including patriarchs, celebrities, and officials – insisted: “No, no!! It ISN’T ‘Container’!! It’s ‘the Mead’ !”

For some time I didn’t know what to think.

* * * *

Now, the school where I taught is just a few blocks east of Scioto Street, and from the second story where I supervised the large study hall, “Container’s” stack is on prominent display.

On one very warm day with the windows wide, it happened that the breeze guiding the plant’s thick smoke to the west shifted and started it our way.

THAT jolted me out of any pedagogical considerations and filled me with dread. I felt as if transported through time into the trenches of Europe to gaze across no-man’s land as a menacing fog crawled toward us under a blazing sun and an azure sky.

I considered sounding the alarm, “Close the windows!” but didn’t. We would bravely meet our fate. Hadn’t those in authority given assurances; multiple, definitive, even vehement assurances; that No! It’s not “Container”! It’s “the Mead” ?

I tried to keep the children occupied. Fortunately, they were seated with their backs to the assault and blessedly oblivious. I, on the other hand, couldn’t take my eyes off the ominous worm.

Inexorably, it pushed itself forward. Close . . . closer . . . closer - until at last it poured over the sill and was upon us.

It WAS upon us! so was its stench! And it wreaked! BUT . . .

It WASN’T “the Mead”!
It was “CONTAINER”! By God, it WAS "Container"!

And that was that, plain and simple!

* * * *


Oddly enough, though, every time I shared my extraordinary experience with citizens, I was again assured that the children and I were wrong!

No!! It WASN’T Container! No!
It was “the Mead”!
It WAS “the Mead”!

and that was that!

* * * *

What can I say?
Such is life,
I guess.

* * * *



Epilogue:

In recent years, in accordance with the business slogan, “America, love it or leave it”; Container abandoned its smoke stack (and the town) for greater profit elsewhere. This caused the local economy some pain, but at least Scioto Street doesn’t smell anymore; it quit stinking when the plant shut down.

* * * *

Oddly though, even now -- whenever I get tipsy enough to forget myself and go to grinning and bragging about how, at last, it is so perfectly obvious that “Cont