The Rant from Saturday's "Circus of Cool" !

***Intelligent Design, My Ass!!***

I'm tired of God. Enough of Him! Him & his crap!

Yeah! It was good ol’ God when I was small -
I’d fall asleep - sitting on his lap
But after the nap, it was “Up against the Wall!!”

Yeah! and He strutted around all holier than thou
(as if He really knew thou then
As if he even knows thou NOW) !

* * *

Yeah, with God all things are possible!!!
But not in Ohio!! Not on the earth!!

Not while you’re ALIVE !! Not after your BIRTH, but after you’re DEATH !!
That’s when you’re WITH god!!!
After you’re DEAD!!
First MAN must DIE and THEN get ahead!

But you say GOD’s with you now!!!?? Well send him up here! Let the deity speak; and I’ll buy him a beer!

Hey! Let’s hear it for GOD!! Let’s give him a hand!!!
Hey bartender! a beer! And strike up the band.

* * *

What?! Oh, he’s caught in traffic somewhere in the land.

The Omnipotent’s caught up in a Grand traffic Jam ??
as Intelligently Designed in his Grand Master Plan ??
Predestined, I guess, from before the first days –
To show off his might in ever new ways.

But alas, THAT old question is answered, to wit:
CAN he make a heavy stone he cannot lift?

The answer’s “Yes!” since He ISN’T here!
(and, don’t hold your breath!
and forget about the beer)

A stone so heavy he cannot lift it;
Traffic so snarled he cannot exit.

See! Even God can’t do everything right
Not in Ohio - at least not tonight!

But all is not lost; we can still trust the Boss
In God We still Trust. Isn’t that right?

The Federal Bureau of Graven Images
vouches for him – and always will.
They say so in writing - on the dollar bill,
and if you don’t trust the Dollar; well, who the hell will?

But it’s not the same for ‘telligent Design !
Unless the Almighty is out of his mind.

Ebola, AIDS, avian flu, malaria, cholera, and TB too –
Does any of that sound smart to you?

He made man in His image
How wise was that?
If I look like God!
Then He’s old, bald, and fat;
And the people around us throughout all our days
Reflect on God too - in unflattering ways.

He’s stupid and jealous and spiteful and mean
Writes “YAWEH” in the snow when he vents his spleen.

He sends us to Hell and won’t let us leave,
This creator of DEATH who tries to blame Eve -
But he made HER, and he made the TREE!
And He made Cain and you and me!

Well, he fucked up, didn’t he!!
He fucked up, yes sir-eee!

After all, WE’re the “ZENITH of his creation”
The “culmination of Intelligent Design”
Especially the citizens of THIS great nation
Pristine and pure and noble and kind. * * *
Who believes THAT ???????
The deaf, dumb, and blind !!!!!!!!!!!!


Remember, Man, that thou art dust and to dust
Thou shalt return.

No, we ain’t that much, not worth the fuss
And neither is God.
I’m tired of God
And he’s damned tired of us.


Ah! Humanity!! God’s little toy!!
His guilty pleasure; His most treasured joy!
Five days of plotting to prepare us a place
Five days of practice and wiping his face
(and guzzling coffee) to
(what could it hurt?)
To breathe life in a man he’d made out of DIRT !
What could it hurt to make Man out of dirt?
What could it hurt to make Man out of dirt?

So, He made us up to be just like Him
Filled with dirt all the way to the brim
And, no, not by chance, but by clear design,
To give us a copy of His own filthy mind.

Yeah, five days of plotting to prepare us a place
Five days of practice and wiping his face
Practice, practice, practice makes a most perfect race.

And it’s all by design
And everything’s fine
We’re the Top of the Line
So, don’t worry your mind!
What could it HURT !!


What could it hurt
To make man out of DIRT !

What could it hurt?

What COULD it hurt ?!?!