Letter to Scamgeria
Hey Folks,
If you’re like me, everyday you get one or more bogus e-mails like this one:
Hello dumb-shit rich American friend who doesn't know me!
Please to send some of your very-available money so I will gladly share $250,000,000.00 (or more, probably) dollars (U.S. cuurency) with YOU (may God wish!!)!
Your friend - Gotblls Tosaeschsht
vice-nephew of Ihoptoo Phokkue
Governor-in-absentia
Meegottaplan province
Scamgeria
Tired of it?
Tired of just dumping it to “Trash”?
Well, turn the tables!! Here’s an “All Purpose Reply.” Just cut/paste and save it. Fill in the blanks, choose “ex-husband” or “ex-wife,” and every time some internet entre-manure sends you some shit, ship some back!!!
Glad to be of service!!!
- Uke Man
Dear ______________,
I am extremely excited by the information you have shared with me. It is a miracle that out of all the world your correspondence should come my way! As it happens I find myself particularly suited to being of help to you in solving the difficulty you face.
You see I have recently won the three-state “Mega-bucks” lottery and will soon be the recipient of $313,000,000.00 (U.S. currency). Upon receipt of my winnings I will forward to you whatever you require to resolve your difficult situation.
Unfortunately my ex-wife/husband [pick one] has interfered in the process, claiming the right to part of my winnings. I have consulted a lawyer, and he assures me that this will not be a problem, and that after some perfunctory legal maneuvers the jackpot will be turned over in its entirety to me. I need only $2,000.00 (U.S. currency) to officially retain my legal counsel and retrieve my prize money.
I know how important your cause is, and I know also that a person of your status laughs at raising the insignificant amount my lawyer requires. I, unfortunately, am of the lowly working class and am often unable to pay even my basic utility bills.
Still, I think we can help one another. Simply forward me the small amount I need, and within weeks of its receipt my windfall will be achieved. I, in turn, will immediately provide whatever it takes to correct the injustice you face.
Yours truly,
_____________
If you’re like me, everyday you get one or more bogus e-mails like this one:
Hello dumb-shit rich American friend who doesn't know me!
Please to send some of your very-available money so I will gladly share $250,000,000.00 (or more, probably) dollars (U.S. cuurency) with YOU (may God wish!!)!
Your friend - Gotblls Tosaeschsht
vice-nephew of Ihoptoo Phokkue
Governor-in-absentia
Meegottaplan province
Scamgeria
Tired of it?
Tired of just dumping it to “Trash”?
Well, turn the tables!! Here’s an “All Purpose Reply.” Just cut/paste and save it. Fill in the blanks, choose “ex-husband” or “ex-wife,” and every time some internet entre-manure sends you some shit, ship some back!!!
Glad to be of service!!!
- Uke Man
Dear ______________,
I am extremely excited by the information you have shared with me. It is a miracle that out of all the world your correspondence should come my way! As it happens I find myself particularly suited to being of help to you in solving the difficulty you face.
You see I have recently won the three-state “Mega-bucks” lottery and will soon be the recipient of $313,000,000.00 (U.S. currency). Upon receipt of my winnings I will forward to you whatever you require to resolve your difficult situation.
Unfortunately my ex-wife/husband [pick one] has interfered in the process, claiming the right to part of my winnings. I have consulted a lawyer, and he assures me that this will not be a problem, and that after some perfunctory legal maneuvers the jackpot will be turned over in its entirety to me. I need only $2,000.00 (U.S. currency) to officially retain my legal counsel and retrieve my prize money.
I know how important your cause is, and I know also that a person of your status laughs at raising the insignificant amount my lawyer requires. I, unfortunately, am of the lowly working class and am often unable to pay even my basic utility bills.
Still, I think we can help one another. Simply forward me the small amount I need, and within weeks of its receipt my windfall will be achieved. I, in turn, will immediately provide whatever it takes to correct the injustice you face.
Yours truly,
_____________
2 Comments:
Uke Man!
Once again, you are SO on topic! I arrived at work to find THREE Chinese lottery winning emails in my in box SO I wrote to a friend (make that phriend), I would take my Chinese winnings and help out the poor African dude trying to reclaim his family's property!
Thanks for the comeback at 'em!
I'll share it but of course give YOU credit!
How much of MY winnings do you want?!?
Take Care!
Phyll
This is Great, boy how much fun I can have with this.
Thanks for the inspiration.
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