A Sick Puppy named Rove-R

Karl (“K” not “C”) Rove has kept a pretty low profile, but by now most Americans have seen pictures of the Doughboy.

Now, I don’t claim to be svelte or a “face boy” myself; and if I try really hard to be objective when gazing upon the Rovian visage, I’d have to say he’s average-looking – not an ugly guy but not Robert Redford either – he’s soft and smooth and has a flaccid little double chin – he’s not attractive but not repulsive either (I didn’t say HE wasn’t repulsive – just that his LOOKS aren’t).

Having said that, I still think we can tell a lot simply by looking at the creature John Stewart described as the one man in Washington with flesh-colored hair.

It’s been reported that as a child, Kkkarl was beaten-up by a girl. That says a lot! And looking at him, you know it’s true and that he’s never gotten over it.

Kkkarl, by all accounts isn’t stupid; he’s gifted, but everything indicates that he never recovered from his ass-whuppin’! Instead, he turned to the dark side and began making the world pay for his humiliation. He’s been an under-handed, win-at-all-costs sumbitch ever since his high school debating team.

Beyond reports to this effect by his high school contemporaries, it’s been documented that he met the elder George Bush when Poppy was called on to mediate an internecine struggle among collegiate Republikkkans – a war over voter irregularities in a contested student election involving Kkkarl (sound familiar?).

Poppy knew an effective, dirty-tricks operative when he saw one and immediately took his side and brought him into the “Family.” Not long after this, gopher-Kkkarl was assigned to deliver a set of keys to Boy George as he stepped off a train.

It was love at first sight; “W” was everything Kkkarl wasn’t; “W” was his ticket to self-respect. “W” wouldn’t let some girl kick his ass; and while “cute” (Kkkarl thought he had more charisma than anyone he’d ever seen), “W” wasn’t fully lit, an easily led trophy-cheerleader who could take Kkkarl places.

Yes!!!! The Empire would strike back!!! Kkkarl would work for “W,” and that would work for Kkkarl – he’d be the man behind the curtain no one would pay attention to, but who would make everyone wish they had.

Kkkarl would have his revenge!!!

Well, he’s had enough, but he’ll probably get more. “W” is backtracking on his “You’re fired!” stand; and such brilliantly underhanded manipulators as Rove will destroy the world before they’ll be taken down alone (see the theology on Lucifer/Satan).

Kkkarl will probably survive, but we can take solace that just as virtue is its own reward, duplicitous neurosis is its own punishment. Until recently we haven’t seen much of Kkkarl, but each day preparatory to further outrages, the Doughboy shaves and must look in the mirror to curse that face and the little girl who kicked his wimpy ass so many years ago.