Left Behind
Ukulele Man & his Prodigal Sons will be performing at COMFEST (the Community Festival) at the Gazebo in Goodale Park at 7:00, Saturday, June 25 (more on that later).
On Friday, June 24, Uke Man will deliver a rant accompanied by a jazz band at 6:00 in the COMFEST “I Wish You Jazz” tent as part of the Circus of Cool.
The rant – minus the jazz and the raucous voice of the Uke Man – is presented below.
Left Behind
Waiting for the Rapture, reading Revelations, waiting to be “Left Behind” - earnestly anticipating Ned Flanders’ disappearance - mid-frame - along with all his annoying pals. Leaving their clothes and glasses and watches behind to float for an instant in the empty air – ball caps and bifocals; Rolexes and pacemakers; colostomy bags and surprised toupees mourning their absent pates; pairs of silicon balloons undulating pointlessly, vacant wooden legs standing at attention, and glass eyes (round like marbles) – floating as if painted by Dali - floating – floating - floating for an endless instant - until Newton notices and ends the unnatural levitation – the incongruous delegates falling at last - only to reconvene in piles upon their 7,000 year old, fossil-encrusted mother. Pulled there - this unexpected collection of inorganic human parts – by a predestined parlor trick of an Almighty god!!!
All the bright-eyed, smiling, fetus-waving, homo-hating, self-righteous, patriarchal zombies have vaporized into the clouds to join Jim Jones in holy oblivion or to wear their Nikes on Haley-Bop’s backside. They should be happy! They loved to harp on earth – NOW they can harp forever - and wear white past Labor Day! - Hosanna!!! Hosanna on high!!
We too rejoice!!! We homos, Christ-killers, socialists and punks – unionists, utopians, humanists, and Unitarians; temptresses, and tramps; skateboarders and bikers; liberals and lesbians; Darwinians and thespians; slackers, dopers, vegetarians and veterans against the war; gamblers, dancers, and drunks; godless communists and Log Cabin Republicans –
ALL of us on the bus to hell – WE are happy too!
For we are left behind and shall never see THOSE folks again – nor have them love the sinner and only hate our sin.
No! Flanders is gone! Left us here BEHIND! Gone to his reward - and to ours – for we won’t see him again – he and his crew have gone to HEAVEN - and can’t come back !!
We are left behind - but left alone at last!!
Left alone - at last!!
And although Hell may be warm - it’s safe !
You won’t find any Good folks THERE!!!!!
On Friday, June 24, Uke Man will deliver a rant accompanied by a jazz band at 6:00 in the COMFEST “I Wish You Jazz” tent as part of the Circus of Cool.
The rant – minus the jazz and the raucous voice of the Uke Man – is presented below.
Left Behind
Waiting for the Rapture, reading Revelations, waiting to be “Left Behind” - earnestly anticipating Ned Flanders’ disappearance - mid-frame - along with all his annoying pals. Leaving their clothes and glasses and watches behind to float for an instant in the empty air – ball caps and bifocals; Rolexes and pacemakers; colostomy bags and surprised toupees mourning their absent pates; pairs of silicon balloons undulating pointlessly, vacant wooden legs standing at attention, and glass eyes (round like marbles) – floating as if painted by Dali - floating – floating - floating for an endless instant - until Newton notices and ends the unnatural levitation – the incongruous delegates falling at last - only to reconvene in piles upon their 7,000 year old, fossil-encrusted mother. Pulled there - this unexpected collection of inorganic human parts – by a predestined parlor trick of an Almighty god!!!
All the bright-eyed, smiling, fetus-waving, homo-hating, self-righteous, patriarchal zombies have vaporized into the clouds to join Jim Jones in holy oblivion or to wear their Nikes on Haley-Bop’s backside. They should be happy! They loved to harp on earth – NOW they can harp forever - and wear white past Labor Day! - Hosanna!!! Hosanna on high!!
We too rejoice!!! We homos, Christ-killers, socialists and punks – unionists, utopians, humanists, and Unitarians; temptresses, and tramps; skateboarders and bikers; liberals and lesbians; Darwinians and thespians; slackers, dopers, vegetarians and veterans against the war; gamblers, dancers, and drunks; godless communists and Log Cabin Republicans –
ALL of us on the bus to hell – WE are happy too!
For we are left behind and shall never see THOSE folks again – nor have them love the sinner and only hate our sin.
No! Flanders is gone! Left us here BEHIND! Gone to his reward - and to ours – for we won’t see him again – he and his crew have gone to HEAVEN - and can’t come back !!
We are left behind - but left alone at last!!
Left alone - at last!!
And although Hell may be warm - it’s safe !
You won’t find any Good folks THERE!!!!!
3 Comments:
Hey Uke Man-
I'll see ya there!
I'm guilty of many of those 'sins'
I lost count trying to track all of the categories to which I belonged!
Take Care!
Phyll
Man, you are on a tear here these days, Ukelele Man.
Keep it up.
Hi Tom,
I am looking forward to Comfest and your shows. I'm sure you'll be wonderful. Sondra
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